The Giving keeps Getting Bigger!

Justin’s friends and classmates have been so kind and thoughtful.   I was initially contacted by one of his high school friends about a year ago (April 23, 2013) who shared a wonderful idea to create a scholarship in Justin’s memory.  On April 19, 2014 that wonderful idea became a reality as I presented the Justin Hanna Memorial scholarship to the very first recipient! It was sad and beautiful all at once and i was honored to be invited to be the presenter.  I was even more honored that his classmates wanted to remember him in this way.  

God continues to provide the nurturing that my aching heart needs.  Not just my aching heart but the aching heart of his brother, other family members and friends.Image

 

 

 

 

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The memories of Justin are still alive!

The memories of Justin are still alive!.

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The memories of Justin are still alive!

This past weekend marked the two year anniversary since my youngest son, Justin passed away. It was difficult…which was no surprise. I expected that.  God is the only one who really understands the depth of  my pain…or the pain of anyone who is going through . The grieving process is so personal…so individualized.  We may both be separated by death from a child or other loved one but your journey through grief is not necessary the same path that I take. And guess what?  That’s Ok.

However, for me, it is a beautiful thing to have love, support and encouragement from others; to know that I matter to you and how I feel matters even though you don’t really understand what I’m going through or the depth of it.  Donavan, my oldest son, was here with me and two of Justin’s friends Richard and Ephriam along with the prayers and support of other family members, co-workers and friends.

I had a thought for and ‘in memory’ of project. The thought became a prayer, which became a written plan, which became The Justin’s Way Project, which became my mission to accomplish and God blessed it all.   The JW project was inspired by memories of Justin…how he gave his coat away to a homeless lady in Huntsville…shared funds with others in need….marched in Montgomery against Alabama’s  HB 56 law which for one would separate immigrant parents from their children.  I was inspired to reach out to Daphine Tedder at The Manna House.  This local  soup kitchen is open 5 days a week to assist the homeless and needy by providing  breakfast and lunch. By God’s Grace and with help from many of you and  in a short time period, I was able to raise and present over $700.00 to The Manna House!  To God Be The Glory!!                                                                 Vanessa and Daphne 32214           securedownload 

Vanessa and Daphine                                                     Donavan, Daphine and Vanessa        securedownload  From the center-clockwise: Vanessa, Richard, Donavan and Ephriam

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Are You Feeling Stuck?

Are You Feeling Stuck?.

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Are You Feeling Stuck?

WOW!  It’s been a long time since I’ve posted. I had some distractions and now moving forward.  I’ve learned that the process  of moving forward is just as important as the journey.   Oftentimes we are moving forward in the direction that we want to go in…YES!  Then something happens that gets us off track.  We get distracted.. we get stuck.  In the past, I have had a tendency to beat myself up when I get ‘stuck’.  This seems to be more common in women than men.  What I know  and accept now is that it’s OK.  It happens.  What’s crucial is to make sure that we  don’t buy a house…don’t buy a t-shirt,  Don’t join  the HOA (Home Owners Association) on Stuck Avenue.  Gotta go.  Next time  I will talk about some tools to avoid taking up residence on Stuck Avenue.

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Look Up!

Look Up!.

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Look Up!

If you’re grieving, I encourage you not to let anyone tell you when it’s time to stop.  No one can possibly know that except God.  Your pain is real and grieving is a personalized…individual process.  Just as different people have different personalities, people also grieve differently.  There is not a right way or a wrong way.  The exception to the rule is when a person is so depressed that they can’t take care of themselves or want to hurt themselves or others. This mindset, of course is not healthy and that person needs professional help along with lots of prayer and a supportive circle of family and friends. Hopefully the need for help will be recognized before every getting to this point.

Sometimes people, Christians, in particular are hesitant and ashamed of getting professional help. It seems that the mindset is ‘the only thing I should have to do is pray to God….. I believe that God allows people to cross our paths to help to encourage us along the way.   Jesus and His friends at Gethsemane;.. Jesus to his mom…behold your son….We should definitely pray and also be open to receive those that God sends to us.

When my son passed away I knew that I would need all the help that I could get… I had prayer partners, spiritual counseling and professional counseling

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Time Waits On No One…

Time Waits On No One….

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Time Waits On No One…

Time is relevant…use it wisely.  Time is precious…don’t take it for granted.  It’s hard to believe that it’s been one year and nine months since Justin passed away. I miss my baby daily and deeply.

Through this grieving process, I’ve learned that happiness is largely a state of mind. God created us with the ability to make choices.  We can choose to be happy or we can choose to be perpetually miserable. Justin always wanted me to be happy. How do I know? He expressed it to me or more than one occassion. It was obvious in our conversations and interactions. This young man was a deep thinker…very reflective.

Choosing to be happy doesn’t mean that we will never be sad.  It means that we will continually choose to do things that lift us us up. Some of the things that I find helpful are: An active prayer life, surrounding myself with positive people and letting the negative ones go, being active in church and other uplifting projects and activities. Also, I enjoy exercising: golf, tennis, aerobics; reaching out to other people who are also experiencing loss of a friend/loved one…in particular the loss of a child.  In helping others, I also help myself.

Have you experienced the loss of someone close to you?  What do you do to help you get through the rough times?

Justin
Thoughtful Reflections

Thoughtful Reflections

 

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You Just Don’t Know…Until You Know

A co-worker’s son passed away last week.  The service was this past weekend. My first reaction was Oh Lord! I just want to grab her and hug her–just give her a great big bear hug and let her know that I empathize and sympathize with her…I have a pretty good idea of what she is going through. There are some things you just don’t really know… until you know.  I’ve walked in those shoes. I’ve been praying for her ever since.  I haven’t been able to speak directly with her yet. As soon as the opportunity presents itself, I will share these words directly with her. We need each  others’ prayers and support….We need each other.

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