My First blog on Justin’s Birthday

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It’s been one year, four months and eight days since Justin…went to sleep.  I miss him so much! Another parent who has experienced the loss of a child would have a better understanding of this emptiness and pain. However, it is only God that can perfectly identify. No one knows like Jesus.

Today would have been his 20th birthday.  As I reflect today, I am so thankful for the time that we had together. We were truly bonded.  I think about gift giving on birthdays and I remember the last gift he gave to me at Christmas time a bottle of perfume, Chance by Chanel. I will cherish it forever.  I will also cherish the memory of his compassion.  I love the story of how is big brother Donavan, had taken him and some of his friends to a store and outside of the store was a homeless woman.  It was a cold night. He took his jacket off and gave it to the woman.

I am inspired by that story…. by the impact of his life.  In memory of my baby boy, I am volunteering at a soup kitchen today.  I want to focus some of my energies on helping someone else. In doing this, I also help myself.

The nightfall is the heartache of being separated, the process of grieving. The bible tells us that “Jesus is the Light” ( John 8:12).  In my journey, as I have moved closer to His Light and trusting in Him, He has given me peace that I didn’t have a year ago. Does that mean I don’t hurt…that I don’t cry…?  It means none of that.  It simply means that I have more peace.  I gain even more peace as I continue to walk towards The Light. It’s certainly not easy. I do believe though that… Weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning. (Psalms 30:5)

About Vanna

God is the source of my strength and because of this I have the desire and ability to move forward. I am convinced that we should "Live" until we die. In essence, live life with passion and purpose. I receive fulfillment when I encourage others to do the same. ***Please do not copy any material from this site without giving credit to this site. Thank you***
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8 Responses to My First blog on Justin’s Birthday

  1. Debra James says:

    Vanessa , You know my love and heart is with you. I miss Justin as well, I often think about the drawing I was supposed to received from Justin he use to smile then tell me “it’s coming you’re going to get it soon.” I smile every time I think about his statement. My sister always remember that the second reunion l be much sweeter than the first….. Love ya…

    • vanessahanna says:

      I remember that picture conversation. Thanks Debra for your thoughts and your prayers. It is those prayers and the Grace of God that keeps me day by day…moment by moment.

  2. mrisomwrites says:

    A beautiful tribute to someone sorely missed by all who knew him. 🙂

  3. vanessahanna says:

    Thank you…words can not accurately express how much I miss him. My goal is to do something memorable each year on his birthday. Although this blog was launched on his birthday. I plan to continue it indefinitely.

  4. ber2mat@aol.com says:

    Vannessa, what way a remember a love one, BY SERVING… “He that wants to be great, let him first serve.” And you are right helping others really helps yourself. memories are dearest when shared with others…
    Peace and Blesings Unto You

  5. Pingback: My First blog on Justin’s Birthday | From Nightfall to Morning Light

  6. Vannessa,
    I didn’t know Justin well, but my daughter, Katie did. She admired him greatly–especially his kindness and his compassion for others. And that is a legacy that will live on in the lives of those who experienced that through him. They will strive to be kind and to serve and he will live on through those acts of kindness, until the day you two can be reunited again and see Jesus together. Thank you for sharing your journey of grief and how God has held you together through it.

    • vanessahanna says:

      Hello Sandi
      It is very thoughtful and kind of you to share these words of encouragement. It helps to know that he was an inspiration to his friends, classmates. He was and is such an inspiration to me as well along with other family members. God has sustained and is sustaining me and Yes, I look forward to the day when He will reunite us along with our other friends and loved ones. This is by no means an easy journey but God gives courage and strength. I can do this only through Christ who strengthens me. (phil. 4:19) If you’re inspired to share other thoughts/encouraging words, please don’t hesitate. Let’s keep each other in prayer.

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