It’s been one year, four months and eight days since Justin…went to sleep. I miss him so much! Another parent who has experienced the loss of a child would have a better understanding of this emptiness and pain. However, it is only God that can perfectly identify. No one knows like Jesus.
Today would have been his 20th birthday. As I reflect today, I am so thankful for the time that we had together. We were truly bonded. I think about gift giving on birthdays and I remember the last gift he gave to me at Christmas time a bottle of perfume, Chance by Chanel. I will cherish it forever. I will also cherish the memory of his compassion. I love the story of how is big brother Donavan, had taken him and some of his friends to a store and outside of the store was a homeless woman. It was a cold night. He took his jacket off and gave it to the woman.
I am inspired by that story…. by the impact of his life. In memory of my baby boy, I am volunteering at a soup kitchen today. I want to focus some of my energies on helping someone else. In doing this, I also help myself.
The nightfall is the heartache of being separated, the process of grieving. The bible tells us that “Jesus is the Light” ( John 8:12). In my journey, as I have moved closer to His Light and trusting in Him, He has given me peace that I didn’t have a year ago. Does that mean I don’t hurt…that I don’t cry…? It means none of that. It simply means that I have more peace. I gain even more peace as I continue to walk towards The Light. It’s certainly not easy. I do believe though that… Weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning. (Psalms 30:5)