Mixed Feelings

I’m not crying today. I’m always missing my baby boy, Justin. He is in my daily thoughts. I look at his pictures…including the one that I posted on his birthday.  (That picture was actually taken on his birthday in 2010) Anyway…I look at one of his pictures or a memory comes to mind and I think…Oh My Goodness (OMG) I can’t believe that he’s not here.

Of course, I obviously know that he is not here but there is still a part of me that doesn’t want to accept it.

I am currently reading Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. One section talks about how Proactive people are impacted by things that are in their Circle of Concern.  These are the things that they have no control over.  However, one key difference between a proactive person and a reactive person is the response that they choose in a time of crisis…such as death. The proactive person will be impacted by the tragedy or emergency that has occurred but ultimately the response to the difficulty will result in one that is principal based.  A response that says By God’s Grace I can get up and move forward…By God’s Grace I will….  “We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. (2 Corinthians 4:9)

Moving forward through pain is a choice….Happiness is a choice too. “…Happy is that people who’s God is the Lord.” (Psalms 144:15)  Does that mean, there will never be a time of sorrow…of sadness?  Of course…”Jesus Wept.” It means that a conscious choice has been made to live life with purpose and ON Purpose. Satan would have me be in a strait jacket and angry with God. He would have me to be totally separated from God.   Justin would want happiness for me. He would want me to live life with purpose and On purpose.   This is what Donavan wants too.  This is what I want and most of all it’s what God desires for my life.  Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding. (proverbs 3:5)



About Vanna

God is the source of my strength and because of this I have the desire and ability to move forward. I am convinced that we should "Live" until we die. In essence, live life with passion and purpose. I receive fulfillment when I encourage others to do the same. ***Please do not copy any material from this site without giving credit to this site. Thank you***
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